Life is chaotic (at least for now)

Here we are, we’ve arrived in a new place with new jobs and a new home.  It feels like it has taken a while to get to this point but we have a long way to go yet before we’re settled.

Just a few months ago I was living in a city which has more or less been home for 14 years.  That is incredible to think about.   Before that I hadn’t lived anywhere for more than 6 years and had moved 8 times by the time I was 16.  So after 14 years in one city (a couple different housing situations) I felt pretty rooted.

Just a few months ago I was working a job which was a work in progress but where I felt very competent and trusted.  I could participate actively within my organization and could build bridges to other similar programs to collaborate on new ideas.  It wasn’t necessarily an easy job but I felt like I knew how to get somewhere.

Just a few months ago our kids had a routine, a great babysitter, a great day care, strong friendships, and favorite spots to go (library, parks, and the back yard).

Just a few months ago our home was an easy place to host guests.  I could cooks, clean, and wash clothing and feel on top of things (not that I always did feel that way).

Now here we are and we are glad to be but I just want to describe a little what this part of the transition feels like.

We’ve lived in this city for two and a half weeks.  I know a few people and a few places.  I don’t feel rooted yet, this doesn’t feel like home yet.  It makes it hard to relax and rest.

We are stepping into a role that is very new.  I don’t feel competent in this job (yet).  I cannot communicate very well in Spanish which makes everything from using email, the phone, or talking to coworkers hard.  I don’t feel like I know how to move forward.

Our kids don’t have a good routine yet.  They are stretched at a preschool that uses Spanish only (that’s the teachers and the students), they don’t know their babysitter well, they don’t have a lot of spaces that they are comfortable in. They are incredibly resilient but they are tired and it is harder to parent with tired and tightly wound kids (true anywhere in the world).

Our home is becoming a place to host guests!  Still, I don’t know how to cook very well here.  I’m not sure what groceries I can or can’t find so we end up shopping often and sticking to pretty basic meals.  It’s hard work to keep up with cleaning even with the extra help we get from the woman who watches the kids twice a week.  I’m grateful we could host twice (both from our team which made it a lot easier).  Most days we’re too tired to think about hosting.

This is life now.  It won’t always feel this hard to do “life.”  Right now it is.  We’re thankful for all those we keep reminding us to have grace for ourselves (most other people are readily extending it to us).  Keep us in your prayers.

-R